Thursday, July 9, 2009

The One Thing I HATE About Being Single

You know, I don't mind being single. If you've read my blog I'm sure it's obvious. I wouldn't say I am anti-relationship, but I am definitly anti-settle, anti-relationship out of convienience or boredom. I love boys, especially really fit ones, but I tend to be a bit on choosy side. Not because I think I'm all that or anything, more or less because I figure if I'm going to be something, the person I am should at least be at the same level.

I work, so I expect them to have a job. They don't have to make millions, but just something to keep them busy, and have them on the way to a future. I like to keep fairly fit, so I expect whoever I'm also with to be in decent shape. I'm not saying they can't be chubby or flabby, but they have to get a little exercise here and there. I'm insanely active, so they have to be able to keep up! The other thing is having your own hobbies, and life. I'm definitly someone who needs time away to do my own thing and would hope anyone I was with had their own thing they loved to do too. Passion is sexy, and in the future you can do both your things together!

Anyway, I'm getting side tracked but basically this is why I have a problem meeting guys I'm interested in. Guys my age seem to be stuck in this weird new generation - live with their parents until they are 30, have no care for their future thing. Is that even a new thing...? I think that's a wholllle other blog topic. So basically, I do enjoy being single. I enjoy my life right now but the one thing I want more than anything is my own piece of hobby farm heaven.

I have a gorgeous apartment I love, and my horses are both at great facilities, but more than anything I want my horses in my own backyard. Just something small to start, but enough for 3 or 4 horses comfortably. With the amount I pay in rent, board, gas, etc I could more than easily afford a small mortgage. I would be paying LESS than I pay now overall. Include taxes, insurance, heating, etc...I would STILL be paying less. I have at least two friends who would rent rooms if I wanted, and could easily board one or two horses. I grew up taking care of my own horses, so I am well aware of the work involved! I could be investing money in something instead of throwing it away to other people when I would much rather do the work myself!

I find it really hard boarding my horse. I'm anal, I like things done the way I like them done. I hate that I can't just bring my horse when I want, or throw him as much hay as I want. I hate that I can't sit in the barn and drink beer until 3am and play with my ponies. I have had that ability my whole life, it's been a hard adjustment.

So what does this have to do with being single? One word: MORTGAGE. I can't get a mortgage because I am single. Unless I have an unorthodox down payment to put down, or someone to co-sign I will NOT be able to get a mortgage. Not even a small one. Talk about stuck in the ages. Maybe back in the day it was the norm for most 25 year olds to be married or engaged, but nowadays that's not always the case. It's hard enough as it is living in this world as a single with people judging you, and having to pay all costs when couples get to split. Now they are making it nearly impossible for singles to get ahead. I have a GREAT job, two jobs at that, decent credit, and a good education...I qualify financially for a mortgage but because *hold your breath* I'm **single** I am not a good candidate.

Can I please express my distaste and anger through this keyboard?


Thank you.
So now, where do I go from here? I have found two lovely farms which are well within my price range but without a mortgage approval I am S.O.L. With housing prices falling this is the time to BUY, and the realtors tell me first time buyers have it made since they do not have to sell before they can buy. So why O why, am I getting screwed for being single?

Do I have to wait for this---> to get my hobby farm heaven?

Any advice is welcomed with open arms ;)


  1. very strange, banks usually want to throw money at people and delight at getting them into debt...
    good luck with getting something sorted,

  2. i am a real estate agent with remax and i have worked with several single people and we have closed on all sorts of homes...not sure which lender is giving you that idea because it is incorrect! as long as your income and debt ratio are not out of whack, and your credit score is high, then you are fine. if those aren't up to par, have a parent co-sign the loan. either way, try chase you have one nearby? if not, my lender at chase does loans all across the might want to give her a call...

    byw, since you are a first time homebuyer, you need to purchase by december 1st so you can get your $8,000 back. email me and i can help you find a decent agent that will work hard for you...the right agent makes all the difference in the world.

  3. Seriously? I had no idea it was so difficult to get a home loan if you were single. Here's hoping you can find a way to make it work. Boarding can be very difficult!

  4. Thanks guys...

    Kritter: Are there Chase Banks in Ontario?

    My credit score isn't super great but it's not bad either. My boss at the barn I work at on weekends is actually a Realtor also and she is working with me on finding a solution. Unfortunately my parents are not wanting to co-sign for me at this time. But you know if I was getting married they would be all over that sh*z!!

  5. your agent should know the best lenders in the area that are solid and not going to qualify you if you do not truly meet the proper standards. i can check with my chase lender and see what she says about ontario locations...i think she can write a loan anywhere in the u.s. despite if they have an actual building in that town but canada is another matter as i do not know chase's rules and regs for international loans...will check! good luck!

  6. I can't believe this! I really can't. This souns so much like the 50s or 60s to me when women couldn't even open bank accounts because there were no men around.

    All I can say is good luck with your 1) new fit boy (if you find him), 2) mortgage and 3) horses. Because you're worth it :-).

    Greetings from London.

  7. Kritter: thanks so much, I will post more on my progress.

    Cuban: thank you, you're very sweet!

  8. You forgot the part where 95% of the men seriously involved with horses are gay...ha ha ..

    My youngest daughter is 27, single and a college grad. She just bought a house...not a farm but a really nice house. I am sure this is not where she will live the rest of her life - but a good start. Maybe you need to talk to a better realtor or banker!

  9. I'm a single female in your area and just bought a house. At no point in the process was the fact that I was single an issue. I think you need to speak with more bankers. I know a a couple of single women who are home owners too.

  10. I guess I do. I'm sure the main problem is not having a BIG enough DP or co-signer. I'm trying to save more and hope for the best in the future.


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