Sunday, November 27, 2011

Where Friendship Ends and the Doormat Begins

 
    They just want me to support them.  Support their decisions in life. (Not the greatest decisions in my eyes).  I am a good person.  I bend over backwards for my friends, go out of my way to help them, to help strangers.  I always put others before myself.  I do it to help people out, and because I like to be a generous person and be there when needed.  I enjoy it.  I know I would appreciate it if I needed help and someone was there for me.  I have been that person before, and have met some amazing people who have helped me through times when all I needed was a lending hand.

  At what point, do you stop being a good person, a reliable friend, and become a door mat?  How many times can you go out of your way to be there for someone before they take that for granted and it becomes expected?  How about those times when you want a friend, need a friend, and that person you have supported through all those times turns their back on you because they have something better to do?  At what point do I stop being the good friend, the reliable shoulder, and stop wasting my time with those who are so unappreciative?

  Why is it that there are certain events in life where everyone expects you to be agreeable and supportive? This all stems back to me expressing my opinion the other day.  Yeah, I said what I actually WANTED to say and they didn't like it.  Now they just want "my support".

  Why should we support things in life that we don't agree with.  Because it's the "right" thing to do? Says who? We have to be there and comfort those who are making bad choices in life BY CHOICE.  We have to support welfare cases who eat up our tax dollars and what do they give back to us? To anyone?  I am supposed to be happy people are doing stupid ass things because if I don't - then I'm a bitch.  Well you know what, in that case, I guess I'm a bitch.  Better than being an enabler.

  I'm so tired of being told to "be the bigger person", or that I should push my feelings aside and "just be there to support them".  Why am I the one who has to shove all my feelings and opinions aside?  I am not asking these people to take my advice, I am just expressing my opinion and why I can not support their decisions. Is everyone happier burying their head in the sand to avoid the uncomfortable outcome that may occur?  Are we really happier to watch everything to go to hell over the next few years and pick up all the pieces then?  Regardless of what the situation is, I am tired of myself and all of the others out there who are the constant supporters getting grief for choosing to not be there for someone, because they are standing up for what they believe in.  Why are we the bad guys when we trust our gut?

  I have gotten where I am today because of my hard work, good friendships, and believing in myself.  If you give nothing back in this world, you will not get very far.  If you are constantly looking for support, and just take take take, you will run out of people who are willing to give.  I will never turn my back on a friend, but friendship to me is not a one-way street.

 Xxx

8 comments:

  1. good post andinsight...mom agrees. You said it yourself...you persevered and worked hard for what you have today
    Benny & Lily

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  2. Very well said! I agree and sometimes standing up for yourself can be tough..and distancing begins after you do what you need to do. If a toungue lashing occurs because of you having to do what you have been lead to carry through, it's probaly not your issue.

    Sometimes "NO" or "I am being lead to right now to do that" is a difficult for others to hear and take. It feels personal and they forget that they too, have said no or not responded maybe, to someone's requests at some time ere now.

    What ever the reason for not helping monitarily or physically when someones asks id WHY THEY ASK and not ASSUME BEFORHAND. That is respect and value of the reason you ask.

    I am out of the loop with behind any scenes in previous posts...so forgive me should I be wayyy off base.

    Thanks for your visit for THANKSGIVING, I appreciate it very much.
    KK
    Hang in and I know things will smooth out. But hopefully not to the place they were to cause the bumps. Things should never really go back to the way they were...we'd never grow ,change or discover new thought processes and ways to live- if they did.

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  3. Thank you for all the lovely comments and "support" ;)

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  4. Very well said... sometimes it can be so frustrating to be in that position!

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  5. I too struggle with the line between 'good friend' and getting taken advantage of.

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  7. Well written - I feel the same way.

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  8. Well written - I feel the same way.

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