Friday, November 2, 2018

Saying Goodbye to Indy



 I keep trying to write this post but I can't bring myself to do it.  I get too upset and close the browser on my computer.

 I knew the day was coming.  I did not think it would come so soon.  Indy was getting progressively worse as the days went on.  His happiness was fading.  Winter and bad weather is approaching.  As I said in my last post about him, I didn't want to make this decision, but as an owner and caregiver, friend,  sometimes you have to.  You turn to friends and family for advice and support but ultimately, it is your decision.

  I took him to my parents, and we said goodbye.  My dad, boyfriend, and I, were with him until the end.  The vet was amazing, and he went very peacefully.  Even in death, he was the most beautiful horse I have ever known.  He was buried under an apple tree on my parents farm.  With my first pony Esther, my dog Schaeffer, and my moms horse Einstein.

  We were only together for 3.5 years.  It wasn't enough.  It will never be enough.  Indy was the horse you only dream of owning, not the horse you actually get to own.  He gave his everything to every person he met and he deserved so much more in life than this.  I could rip and write forever about how unfair life is but it will not change anything.  Out of all the insanely hard things I have been through in life, this seems the most unfair.

  I miss him so, so much.  I had a lot of time to think about things, and prepare myself, so in the moment I was relatively ok.  As the days go on, the pain just deepens and there is a huge hole in my heart where he belongs.  My friends have been amazing.  The local horse community has been amazing, anyone who knew him that I have seen have been so kind about it all.  I really want to thank everyone for their kind words.  It really means the world to me and Indy.

  I leave you all with my favourite videos of him.  I can't write a tribute at this time, I'm hoping I can in the future.  I will share a song that reminds me of him, I hope he can read this over my shoulder, wherever he is.






It must have been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.
So I was the one with all the glory,
While you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
And everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.
Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
So high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings. 

Love you forever and always Indy.

33 comments:

  1. i'm so so sorry <3 he was such a special horse

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  2. God this is so hard. I loved watching your adventures with him. He was so beautiful and such a gentleman.
    A friend recently remarked how much harder the loss of an animal partner can be, explaining often it's the loneliest grief. Our relationship is so unique and personal that it's hard for others to share in our loss. I've found that so true, and hard to deal with. I hope you can take some solace in the comments here, knowing we all saw and loved the two of you together. ❤️

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  3. I know how hard this is. Grief like this you don’t get over, you learn to to carry it. Be kind to yourself, cry when you need to. He was a great horse and mourning him is right. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking care of him and being there when he needed you.

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  4. Thinking of you! It's never an easy decision, no matter how correct it is.

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  5. I'm so sorry. I've loved reading about him, thank you for sharing him via your blog.

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  6. I am so sorry for your loss <3 thinking of you. He was lucky to have you as his person.

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  7. I'm so very sorry for your loss!

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  8. So difficult to compose adequate words of comfort. I am so sorry for your loss. It was clear how much he adored you!

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  9. Oh...

    ...my heart...

    I am glad he went the same way he lived... but my soul aches for you.

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  10. My heart is broken for you. He was the absolutely most beautiful boy. Have been and will continue to think about you.

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  11. I'm so sorry. <3 He was such a beautiful boy. I loved seeing you guys together.

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  12. been waiting for this update and i am so so sorry for you and everyone who knew Indy but he is pain free now and no more falling or not feeling good. You are an amazing horse owner just remember that. Letting them go is truly the hardest thing whether it be horse or dog or whatever. You did it your way and he was loved all the way. Remember the good times and hug all your other horses and know that Indy lives on in them and their adventures ahead! Virtual hugs all the way around.....

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  13. I'm so so sorry. It does seem to get harder before it gets better. Indy was so lucky to have you, just as you were to have him. They're never with us long enough

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  14. My heart aches for you.

    What a very handsome boy and such a lucky guy to have had someone like you in his life <3 You gave him his dignity and pride until the very end, and I know he thanks you for it.

    Thank you for sharing him on your blog, I know a lot of us fell in love with him.

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  15. I'm just seeing this now...I've been thinking about him, and you, a lot since the last post, but was afraid to ask. He was a very special horse to a lot of people, and he was blessed to have you in his final years. <3 Hugs.

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  16. My heart goes out to you, I am so sorry. He lived a really great life with you.

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  17. I have been quite absent from the Blogging world, I just heard. So sorry to hear. There are no words, only heartfelt feelings for you.
    To Indy. Cheers boy.

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